Wow, hard to believe it will be 2009 in two hours. 2008 was such an interesting year, wonder that this new one will bring? After all, this time last year I was wearing a hearing aid in my right ear designed for mild to moderate hearing loss and hearing things just fine. One year later, I have a Cochlear Implant and am learning to hear all over again. Things have been going great. Getting adjusted to the extended earhook and having fewer headaches/pain which is great. Hearing more and more without the aid of speech reading and people at work have noticed a change in me. I am happier, more talkative and friendlier. Such a small device that delivers a big impact on my life. I am still wearing the hearing aid in the right ear, though it does little good. But, stimulating the auditory nerves in that ear through what little residual hearing I have left is important. Even if it is ten years down the road, there is still a chance I will be able to go bilateral.
I have been listening to my Zune in the car on the way to work. Choosing my favorite songs from when I could hear normally. They still sound like crap, but I am starting to be able to understand the words as they are being sung. In time, they will start to sound better, so I will keep on tuning in.
Happy New Year All....

What a great day! Both my girls came home for Christmas and we had a wonderful time. The oldest was by herself, but Angela was with her boyfriend, TJ, and my granddaughter. The majority of the presents under the tree were for my granddaughter, Gabi, who is almost 16 months old. We had so much fun watching her tear the wrappings off each gift.
It wasn't easy to understand everyone, but it was better than Thanksgiving. Sounds are still computerized but the helium sound seems to be going away, slowly. Between Kimberly, the oldest, and I, we had plenty of food and we were all stuffed by the time we got up from the table. I am so lucky to have two beautiful daughters and grateful that my granddaughter has a loving, generous and caring Daddy.
I even got brave and called my parents using my VCO. It was a good call, but not easy as my mother is hard of hearing and also gets confused easily. She came on the phone long enough to tell me she loved me and then handed the phone back to my Dad. I had to wonder if the relay operator had been drinking as some of what was typed didn't make sense (ie: a string of numbers instead of words). I miss them so much, but they live so far away and it is not easy to get away from work and travel up to the cold North of Minnesota.

These last four days have gone by so quickly and I have to return to work tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it, but have no real choice. I am adjusting quite well to the CI. No sounds make me jump, at least, and if I hear something, I have been able to figure out what it was. This still sound synthesized, but I can actually understand some voices without having to speech read or look at CC on TV. I can hear the buzzer on the stove, the microwave, my dishwasher. I heard the washing machine make a racket and knew it was unbalanced. Something I have not been able to do for a long time. The only thing I really hate so far is the pain my ear feels from the processor. That little hook just hurts after wearing it for hours.

Well, what an interesting day! Activation is complete and I have been assimilated. Yeah, right....
Bob and I drove down to Wilmington, not a big chore for me as I napped most of the way. We picked up my oldest daughter and after a really nice lunch headed to my ENT's office. He checked my incision, and looked in my ear and tried to tell be about a "gap" he had discovered somewhere in my ear but didn't fix at the time of the implant as the surgery took such a long time. He is going to monitor it and if needed, reinforce the "gap" using cartilage from my ear lobe. Not sure what that is all about as I had a really hard time speech reading him.
Bob and my daughter, Kimberly, got it, but it was one of those days that I didn't really have time to ask or understand. After passing the surgeons examination I was sent down the hall to see the CI audi and get my implant activated. I have to admit I was really happy when she started things and I could actually hear the beeps. We spent well over an hour just setting the processor to give me sound and not too much volume. No real mapping, that will come in two weeks.
The world sounds strange now, synthesized is the best word I can come up with. Voices all sound like computers inhaling helium and although I do have an easier time speech reading, I have to admit I am upset that I can't understand better. I know that will come in time, as I have not been deaf that long. It is just frustrating.
I did have one bright, shining, moment tonight while watching TV. I have my CC on all the time but it doesn't always show commercials. I was watching one and even without CC, and no face, just the voice, I was able to understand every word! I know it was just one voice, spoken at just the right tone and enunciation, but it gives me hope that I will get to the point that I won't have to speech read or use CC.
Hard to believe that Christmas is next week. I do have all my shopping done, which amazes me under the circumstances, and the presents are all wrapped. Just no tree yet, silly me has procrastinated as usual. That will go up this weekend. Both my girls will be home for Christmas, as well as my granddaughter. I am looking forward to it and just hope I can hear and understand them all.

It's Sunday night and all is quiet, more or less, since the tinnitus doesn't know how to be quiet. Getting a bit nervous, as well as excited, about activation day. It is in four days and I just hope it goes well. I know there is a 1% chance the implant can fail, so that is always at the back of my mind. Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. That is my motto in life, and always has been.
I wish I had more than three days after activation to adjust before going back to work, but that is all I could manage to take just before Christmas. Being in retail, it's hard to take off time around any holiday.
Bob and I got to babysit our granddaughter, Gabrielle, today and we had such fun. She is 15 months old and so smart already. I love watching her, as you can almost see her mind working to figure out a problem or find a way to do something. She is already saying "diaper" when it needs to be changed and can figure out how to open the screen door, or put the lid on a jar correctly. She is also a very happy child and loves to talk to my cats. Her vocabulary is increasing and I just hope I will be able to hear it all as she grows. She doesn't mind me being deaf, as she has never really known any different. She is just a joy, pure and simple.
I do have an observation, one gained by my journey into deafness. Hearing people have more tolerance and understanding of deaf people than they do the hard of hearing. I suppose that is due to misinformation. It seems that once you mention the word deaf, hearing people just get it. Mention hard of hearing, and they lose the translation. I know that being hard of hearing takes on many forms, and that is the problem. In my case, I can clearly hear environmental sounds like a siren, horn honking, paper tearing, but can't understand speech, even though I hear it. Hearing people get so frustrated by that, and I can't help it. It just is what it is.

It's been a quiet week, no pun intended, but not without it's frustrations. Having my non-implanted ear lose hearing has been annoying, to say the least. Knowing that my activation date is less than two weeks away has given me some hope, but it is hard. Work is no longer fun, and being at home gives me some peace, until Bob tries to talk to me. It is just so hard, but I am not going to let it get me down. That is not my nature. Just having one of what I call my "pity parties" and I will be better in the morning.

Green Light

I went to the surgeon today and all is well. He agreed that the fluid retention was caused by my sleeping on that side and since I have stopped, the body has started to reabsorb that fluid. Most of it has gone and what is left is under the actual implant, so all is well for activation in two weeks. I feel so much better now and am looking forward to a new experience.

The fluid buildup has not gone down so I faxed my surgeon to let him know what was going on. (I find that sometimes a fax works better than iprelay or my phone/vco relay. It cuts out the "middle man" and goes right to the source). I explained that the implant site has fluid buildup and has increased rather than reabsorbing back into the body. He faxed me right back and asked me to come into the office so he can check it out. I am so worried that my activation date will be postponed. So, I have an appointment on Thursday so he can check it out and let me know what is going on.